its amazing how time passes unnoticed, and noticed.
I was just notified my Mother passed on April 2nd. I have not spoken to her in about 4 years without going into a long story,or talking bad about the deceased, I will just say we were not very close. it still has affected me in ways unforeseen.
We all I think block out mortality as humans , we are conscience of it, but we think ourselves immortal in our youths.Summers last forever it seems, we have all the time in the world to do whatever our hearts desire.
As we age that time becomes a small pulse in the back of our heads as it speeds forward and we find that we don't have enough time in any given day to achieve half of the things we want to do.
Time presses on, and that pulse becomes a hammering heartbeat that makes us aware of life's fleeting moments
more and more. we wake up suddenly one day and see all those things around us in a new perspective, and we start to realize that everything we touch and do affects everything around us.
As for me I sing a different tune now, where once I was a tad bitter (cough yes those that know me are free to laugh now) I see what makes life and the world a beautiful and wondrous place.I no longer let trivial matters bother me and I shrug them off as water running down a slicker.
I have come to see that the universe is a place of magic and mystery, life and death being just a small part of the entire whole.
I wish I could put into words exactly what is in my head and my heart, but some days it comes easier than others.
To those I have ever wronged, my most sincerest apologies
To those who have stood by me as I have them, my deepest thanks
To those who just don't get it , you will one day
I am posting lyrics to Time by Pink Floyd it truly is an amazing piece of art as when we are younger and hear it we get it, but we don't GET IT if you understand what I mean.
I too missed the starting gun, but I am off and running now (even though I am a wee bit shorter of breath)
and one day all too soon I will be sitting by the fire and looking back upon my life, and all those who flowed in and out, and I will thank you all for being a part of my wonderful experience known as life good and bad
and for my Mother,,,, You are at peace and I loved you in my own fashion even if it was not in the traditional sense....
Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
Fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way
Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain
And you are young and life is long and there is time to kill today
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun
And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in a relative way, but you're older
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death
Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way
The time is gone, the song is over, thought I'd something more to say
BREATHE REPRISE
Home, home again
I like to be here when I can
And when I come home cold and tired
It’s good to warm my bones beside the fire
Far away across the field
The tolling of the iron bell
Calls the faithful to their knees
To hear the softly spoken magic spells.
sense
